My roommate, Boyo, and I, are not nice people. We are very pessimistic, paranoid, anti-social, jaded, and just generally not amazing specimens of human beings. Both of us work in customer service jobs, so our view of humanity in general has suffered for it. There have been long periods of time where one or both of us refuse to see anyone outside of work because we just can’t handle dealing with anybody, then. Our humor is very dry and very dark. We giggle at the historical murder shows and make inappropriate comments all the time. Both of us can get mean as snakes if we feel the need, and we are rather snarky. Almost ridiculously so… It’s a problem with Boyo (don’t even get me started). Either way, we are generally not people that are sought after for companionship.
We are fully aware of this, but for some reason (that confuses the fuck out of both of us), people like us. I asked a friend and he said, essentially, he liked that we don’t bullshit. You know why we don’t? Because we’re lazy. We don’t lie… it takes far too much effort to lie. I tend to spit out what I think and damn your feelings. If you didn’t want my honest opinion, then you shouldn’t have asked for it. Boyo has more tact and is much more subtle than I am, but he doesn’t lie, either. We don’t sugarcoat, and there is never an ulterior motive, because that takes time and effort we are not willing to put forth. Also, he thinks we’re funny. We’re not funny; we’re just mean and people think we’re joking.
And yet, people actively want us around. This confuses me mainly because why the hell would you want to hang out with Captain Snark and Madame FuckOff? Seriously? I don’t get it. To learn that it’s because we’re too lazy to lie doesn’t exactly help, because how messed up is the world that people want the brutally honest and lazy in their corners?