Negotiations

TAF: You’re still not allowed to commit suicide.
LUM: What if I gave you chocolate?
TAF: You are the chocolate fiend, not me.
LUM: What if I gave you an apple?
TAF: No.
LUM: What if I gave you ten apples?
TAF: No.
LUM: What if I gave you an apple TREE?
TAF: No.
LUM: But then you’d have a lifetime of apples!
TAF: But I would NOT have a lifetime of LUM.
LUM: What if I gave you an apple and three and twenty dollars?
TAF: No. Twenty-three dollars, seriously?
LUM: I’ll go up to thirty, but that’s my limit.
TAF: No. Give it up, you’re not winning this argument.
LUM: You drive a hard bargain. Forty?
TAF: NO.
By this point, both of us are nearly crying from laughing so hard. Neither of us really has the breath to continue.
LUM: *still laughing* What the fuck is wrong with us?
TAF: *breathless* I don’t know!

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