Category Archives: Blog

Fending Off the Cat

Cat tries to tip over my fries so she can lick the salt off them:
Me: Nope, you’re going to make a mess, here’s a single tiny fry, go nuts.

Cat tries to eat my burger:
Me: Nope, that has ketchup on it, it’ll mAKE YOU SICK STOP THAT!!!

Cat tries to lick the milk off the rim of my glass:
Me: YOU ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT STOP THAT!!!!

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Potential Submission

GUYS!! I want to submit something to my school’s literary magazine. I wrote a thing and I think I might send this one in… thoughts? Please?

Strings
She comes to me and holds out a package.
“Here,” she says. “I got this for you.”
It is not my birthday nor any holiday.
The perfect wrapping teases me,
Shiny with pink and yellow smiley faces.
When I ask what for, the reason is “just because.”
A gift, thoughtful and heart-warming,
But I can see the strings.

Invisible to all but me, attached on every side
Gossamer thin, tripwire-taught,
With the package in the middle
Like a lure in a spider’s web.
They fade into the future,
Waiting for something to trigger them
And call the spider to collect what she claims is owed.

Years later, my husband brings me a package.
“Here,” he says. “I got this for you.”
It is not my birthday nor any holiday.
Wrapped in newspaper, haphazard and messy,
Covered in tape and what may actually be cellophane.
When I ask what for, the reason is “just because.”
A gift, beautiful and thoughtful and lovely,
But all I can see are strings
.